The Safe Room happens every 2 weeks, either in person in our community space or online. Across the week we offer; Evening Safe Rooms, Day Safe Room and Weekend Safe Rooms and is open to adult male survivors of sexual harms from age 18+.
When and why was The Safe Room created?
The Safe Room is our original support service that we opened in 2011. It is a peer-to-peer support group for adult male survivors of sexual harms. The idea for the group came from the voices of male survivors who just wanted to get together to talk, listen and learn from each other. Being together in a communal safe space in some way is writing the wrongs of the past, it’s the opposite of the type of space where sexual violence occurs in isolation and alone.
Who facilitates the Safe Room?
A member of the Community Development Team and a volunteer will facilitate each meeting however group members can take turns to ‘host’ the session, taking responsibility for keeping time, reminding members of key group contract points, and starting the ‘check in’ at the beginning and ‘check out’ at the end.
What is spoken about in the Safe Room?
The Safe Room conversation is lead by the survivors. All safe rooms start with a check in, whether that is just to state your name or give an overview of the previous 2 weeks, and end with a check out. There is no agenda or conversation that is off limits, we believe if it is bothering you, then bring it to conversation, working together as peers is always a step in the right direction, sometimes things may work for one survivor and not another, that’s ok, because survivors are unique. Even if there is silence, that is ok, as sometimes being with fellow survivors is all that is needed.
How do I join the Safe Room?
Every survivor, will have a service assessment at the start of engagement, if you feel that being in a safe space to chat about survivorship with fellow survivors, then a conversation will had about the safe room, every survivor will who wants to join the group will agree to adhere to a Terms of Reference that sets out the guidelines and expectations for being a member of the group. Don’t worry though, as you can see its nothing to heavy, it’s there to ensure that everyone knows their boundaries and what is expected of them. But don’t think that you are expected to talk or reveal things about yourself that you don’t want to, you don’t. But again, experience tells us that the more you put in, the more you’ll get out of the group experience.
How many survivors are in each Safe Room?
All Safe Rooms vary in size of attendees, this is because some have been around since 2011, and others were created in 2024, due the popularity. The group is ‘semi-closed’ which means that new members may not be introduced every session, this is to assist in developing a safety between attendees (can you imagine how anxiety inducing it would be if new people turned up at every meeting!). We will also limit the numbers to a maximum of 16 members at any one time, any more members in a room than would mean not enough time to be heard.
Something to remember…
That everyone feels anxious about attending groups, that’s perfectly normal, its fear of the unknown and starting anything new often creates anxiety, but we can honestly say that through our experience, we know this will ease with time.
We’re grateful to Zurich Community Trust for funding the group, we couldn’t do this without their generosity. Members are always welcome to make a £2 donation to the group to help us keep up he supply of tea and coffee, just put it in the tin.
If you would be interested in joining The Safe Room, please let us know by telephoning 0161 236 2182 or email [email protected]
